Boomer Net

2008.02.20 by jc

Our nation is bracing itself as the baby boomer generation dodders into retirement. Industry analysts have been calculating the stress this generation will inflict on our health care system and eventually our cemeteries. But I don’t think we’re considering the real problem. What about the stress on the interweb?

My mother recently sent an email to my son and me. I noticed that she had the wrong email address for my son.

me: “Has Grammy ever sent you an email?”
son: “What? What do you mean?”
me: “I mean, since you’ve had your email address, has she ever sent you an email?”
son: “Dad, I’ve had my email address for 2 years. I emailed her as soon as I got it. So she could put it in her address book.”
me: “Right. And since that time, has she ever sent you an email?”
son: “Dad, vincere alla roulette onlineonline gamblingroulette casinòcasino baccaratall download slotsmetodi per vincere alla roulettegiochi gratis video pokeri video pokercasino’ on linegiochi casino gratis on linefree texas holdem poker download,free online texas holdem poker,free texas holdemtexas hold em tipvideo poker downloadfree online texas holdem pokerfree poker gameon line poker gameplay 7 card stud pokertexas hold em,texas hold em poker,how to play texas hold em pokercrazy game of pokerdownload game holdem poker texas,texas holdem poker game,texas holdem tv poker gameplay money pokervideo poker homefree video pokeronline roulette pokerfree texas hold em pokermac online pokerinternet poker siteonline poker,online poker game,best online pokerplay poker,how to play texas holdem poker,how to play three card pokerbest online poker sitefree poker softwareonline poker softwarefree internet pokerpoker gamesonline poker siteonline poker downloadonline poker cheatvideo poker gamepoker freeonline poker no downloadomaha hi lo rule,how to play omaha hi lo,omaha hi lopoker download,no download poker,download poker superstarstexas hold em poker online,texas poker,texas holdem poker odds7 card stud softwareonline poker review7 card stud hands7 card stud tournamentscard games 7 card studonline poker strategyfun game home play poker that’s crazy. Wait. Oh my god.”
me: “Say it…”
son: “You know, I’ve never gotten an email from her.”
me: “For 2 years.”
son: “Why?”
me: “She had the wrong email address in her address book.”
son: “2 years? Didn’t she get a delivery error or something?”
me: “I’m sure she did.”
son: “But she never knew what it was or did anything about it?”
me: “Right.”
son: “WOW!”

Our boomers also suffer from hearing loss. Tragically, they’re unable to hear phrases like:

“DO NOT SEND ME EMAIL FORWARDS AND OR JOKE EMAILS!”

Go ahead and try it. Scream it, if you like. They still won’t hear (listen to) you.


fwfwfw-thumbnail.pngEven worse, they won’t ever understand simple email etiquette. For example, if you must forward an email to someone, please have the courtesy to trim the chaff, maybe even personalize the message. I had the pleasure of receiving this email from my father-in-law with a staggering amount of chaff. No really, check out the email link. It’s funny.

How many terabytes of bandwidth is consumed by boomer email traffic alone? How much disk space is wasted on the same WMV file depicting a monkey falling off of a branch after smelling his own finger? I’m treated to this gem (and many others) about once a year.